All this happened, more or less...

My name is G and these are the true stories of my adventures.

Thursday, November 29, 2007


Today is Thursday, the 29th of November, 2007. That means I've been home from Japan for exactly one year, six months, and twenty-six days.

In that time, many strange and incredible events have transpired. Despite all odds against, I finally got a "grown-up" job; I had my first adventure with downhill skiing; I went white-water rafting; I drove down the West Coast; I turned a quarter-center old; and I nearly died from mono, which no one ever nearly dies from.

Today for the first time I locked myself and my students in my classroom to ensure that none of us got shot by a crazy gunman the police (or the "po-po," as my kids call them) were chasing past our building. This is extra hilarious since "running from the po-po" was the first action in our game of charades yesterday.

No, really. In the immortal words of Sir Konrad the Bewildered, "You think I'm joking, but I'm serious."*

I faced an interesting moral dilemma when our building principal came over the PA and announced a Code 1 Lockdown. You see, at the time, I was on my lunch break and having a conversation with a student about whether he should purchase an HP or a Mac. (Silly conversation, I know, but hey, enlightening teenagers is part of my job, as is trying to make them a little hipper every day.) We were just getting into the finer points of GarageBand when the lockdown commenced. The choice I had to make was this: send the student to another room without knowing the nature of the emergency and risk him getting shot on the way; or lock myself alone in my room with a male student for an indefinite amount of time and hope that no one notices the blatant impropriety of the situation.

We went with the second option and had a good laugh about it -- "D's life vs. G's job... such a tough call..."

We were in lockdown for over an hour, but you'll be relieved to know that nobody died or was fired. In fact, the guy whom the gunman shot "repeatedly"** before he headed our way didn't die either. That's how you know you're a truly crap gunman.


*"Sir Konrad" with a "K" is the actual fake name of my ex-boyfriend's ex-roommate, who is a pharmacist by day and a Medieval warrior by night. He has absolutely no sense of humor and is constantly under the impression that we think he's joking about things. We're actually just laughing at the uncanny combination of wire-rimmed spectacles and chain mail.

**Such was the local news report this evening.

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